Thread: I am offically the worst mother ever....

I took the kids to the dentist today. Can you guess where this is going?

*sigh* Natalie and Lucas each have 8 cavaties. One in each of their molars. Natalie will have to go back 4 more times, so he can work on two at a time, with a local numbing agent. Meaning, she'll be awake and will now fear and hate the dentist I'm sure. Two of her teeth are so bad that he's not sure if he'll be able to save them or not, so they might have to come out all together, and she'll need spacers put in place to make sure her teeth don't shift. With one of them, if he can't fix it with a normal fil, he'll have to put a silver cap on it. But that's not the worst...

Lucas isn't so cooperative. Meaning, he'll have all 8 of his teeth fixed at the same time - in the hospital under general anestesia. He's been under before when he was 14 months old to have a pollyup removed from his nose, so we know that he doesn't have an allergy to the anestesia, but it's still terrifying none-the-less. And on one of his teeth, he will need a silver cap on it.

I cannot even begin to express what an absolute failure I feel like. God knows I brush their teeth. With Lucas I have to fight tooth and nail (no pun intended) to do it, but we do it. Are we perfect at it? No. And this just proves that we need to be more diligant about brushing/flossing and using ACT with all three of them. I feel like I failed them. My poor, sweet, innocent babies.....

Thanks for listening. If anyone is inclined to call CPS for neglegent parenting, I'd appreciate a heads up so I can at least shovel a path through the laundry that's waiting to be put away. *sob*

~Ashley~

Hugs to you, mama! You know, some teeth are just way more inclined to decay than others. Don't beat yourself up. Make the changes that need to be made but then relax.

Originally Posted by _Tookasmama_

If anyone is inclined to call CPS for neglegent parenting, I'd appreciate a heads up so I can at least shovel a path through the laundry that's waiting to be put away. *sob*

Sounds like my house!

You sound like me earlier this year. It truely will be ok. Some kids really do have softer teeth and weaker enamel. Mine was a shocker because my brother and I were super great, but OTOH, my DH's family has major dental problems. I felt horrible.

And I promise you that within the hour, another mother will earn that title.

Oh you are NOT the worst mother ever. Some children are just inclined to have bad teeth.. heredity maybe? I know that I have horrible teeth and I'm the only one of the four of us (I have three younger sisters) that have had a cavity. I brushed two times a day every day of my life, went to the dentist two times a year and still had AT LEAST one cavity every time I went. Two of my back molars even rotted from the INSIDE. (ie: there was NOTHING I could have done to prevent that.. no amount of brushing/flossing etc) Really stinks doesn't it??

Oh but I'll rival you for worst mother of the year.. I was playing with Chris and Faith on our walk this morning.. I pushed Chris' stroller so that he would go fast.. we were on a level sidewalk.. he LOVES going fast.. his stroller went up on the grass and he tipped over and landed upside down on the sidewalk... OMG I was terrified.. I picked him RIGHT up because I was RIGHT there.. but it was really dumb of me and I never should have done that.. horrible horrible horrible.. I should never have let go of the stroller.. ughhhh I still shudder thinking about it.. WHY would I have done that/??? Foolish mistake... poor baby has scratches on his face and elbow now... So.. now tell me.. who's a bad mommy??

Oh Ashley *hug*

I sooooo know how you are feeling! I took my 5 year old to the dentist several months back and he had **8** cavities! :eyes: I was SOOOOO upset.

All done now, but it took 4 different dentists and 8 appointments to get them fixed. Long story. They did them all with just numbing shots, and he did really well. They did 2 each appointment.

The first dentist blamed it on drinking too much juice and tried to prescribe flouride tablets for ALL three of my kids (including, at the time, a 6 month old baby which is so dangerous it isn't even funny). My son drinks juice maybe twice a month. I believe flouride only sickens children when it's taken internally (hence the warning on toothpaste tubes, kwim?! we don't do flouride except in toothpaste and only occassionally, but I used to use flouride toothpaste so that has nothing to do with the cavities). We didn't go back to that dentist.

Next dentist, said it was genetic or sugar related. My kids don't get sugar except very rarely. I fight mil on that one nearly daily. Seriously, we do NO soda, and maybe one cookie or other sugary snack a week.

Current dentist who I love, says some kiddos just have weak enamel. We've been over diet, teeth brushing habits, and everything, and he says I'm not doing anything wrong. We are very picky about eating habits, the kids brush daily (and I was doing flouride mouthwash as long as he had the cavities, but not now that they're filled), etc.

It's not a reflection of your parenting, really. :hug: You can do everything right and still have cavities. :hug:

Awww, sweetie. I think I made the same post myself a year ago - mine had about as much work that needed to be done. You aren't a bad parent. Some kids just don't have great teeth. Mine don't, and neither did I when I was a kid. My adult teeth have been much healther, if that's any consolation...

I so know how you feel. :hug: I took my 5 yo to the dentist this summer and found out that he also had 8 cavities. I was really surprised since I thought I was really good about brushing them, we floss every night and he doesn't eat a lot of sugary junk. I have come to the conclusion that he just has weak teeth (like his mama ) I honestly don't feel like there is anything I could have done differently that would have made a lot of difference.

I think it took about 5 appointments to get all of the cavities filled, and my ds got better at sitting still for the dentist each time we went. But I still breathed a huge sigh of relief after it was all over.

My 6yo had 7 cavities this past spring at his yearly checkup, he had to have 4 silver caps on his baby molars. The dentist said he has really soft and thin enamel and blamed it on heredity.. we do let the kids eat some sugary stuff and they do drink juice on occasion, my 6yo is the only one with teeth like that, my 4yo walked out of the same office with just a cleaning and no need for any work on his teeth.

My friend who is a hygenist, said kids only have one layer of enamel, and adults have 3, so thats why kids are more prone to have cavities, and if its hereditary there isnt really anything you can do about it, even if you brush a zillion times a day and floss and cut sugar out..

dont feel bad, its not your parenting. Just hug your babies and let them know how important it is to brush now.. The kids will be fine at the appointments, you'll feel worse than they will. ((hang in there))

Oh good grief, you are NOT a terrible mother. I have terrible cavaties and take very good care of my teeth brushing and flossing. Dh takes HORRID care of his and has never had a cavaty (I don't think I am spelling that right). I am a terrible mother though, I have just turned 4 year old who has never seen the dentisit, I didn't even really think about it until just now!

We went to a pediatric dentist for the first time with ds's broken tooth (i don't usually care for them because ours here in Sioux Falls doesn't let parents back withthe kids), but Daniel is 8 and was ok with it. With a little nitrous oxide and a tv for distraction, he didn't even realize the dentist gave him shots in the gums We'll be going back to our regular dentist because I like him, but there were pluses to this Pediatric Dentist

Eli had drumroll......11 cavaties and ironically they called it baby bottle mouth and he never sucked a bottle. He had mama milk until age 2.5 yrs and we brushed his teeth very regularly. We went to two different ped. dentists and they both said it has more to do with bacteria levels in the mouth than we might think although we still should do all we can to keep them clean of course, but not to feel responsible or guilty. The good news is it usually isnt the same on the permanents for some reason.

We went with in-office sedation. I hope you don't think I am nuts but we didnt feel the hospital route was feasible financially (our dental policy would not cover hospital fees or anethesia, just the actual dental % they pay and it would have cost us a couple thousand). We also felt in office would be less stress on Eli than going to the hospital. He spent too much time there in his babyhood with skull surgery and we didnt have great feelings about it. We loved his dentist and the care he recieved and his patched up teeth are going strong.

I'm reading more and more about how cavities are LARGELY due to genetics. It's pretty sad because I just noticed today that JUST ON THE BOTTOM (in my mouth) I have at leastt 6 teeth that have the "lines" of cavities (not full blown cavitiy wholes, but the little black lins in the crevices)! UGH!! I can't see the top so I can only imagine what's going on up there, and I brush EVERY SINGLE day, and floss, we avoid sugar, etc.

I hope Noah doesn't have to deal with that

I had cavities growing up, but I also had very bad hygeine as far as brushing and flossing. I would literally go days without brushing when I was in elementary school. Yuck! It's a wonder I had friends, LOL!!