Thread: ohhh mamas please help us ( me n caden )

I am SOOO glad you called LLL! I really think it will make a big difference for you; have some support, be around others bfing, someone to help you figure out the sling, etc.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!! you have to believe that yourself! Keep up the good work! It will get easier and you will look back and say, WOW, I DID IT! Believe in yourself, believe in your body, believe that Caden has the ability to nurse well.

And if you are Christian, find a church (I know a great one in Warrenton, you would feel very welcomed and like family), if you are not christian find a group of people you relate to or whatever. It will help you not feel so alone and get you out to meet people! Even if Mike wont go with you, it will be sooo worth it. (if you want the info on the church in warrenton, pm me. we went there for almost 4 yrs, Amazing church family there!)

:hug: I'm so glad you called them--for the breastfeeding help, sling help...you never know what kind of connections you will make there! :*)

:hug: I am so glad you called! The future looks bright!

im not christian persay? but i have been talking about going to church ... never grow up with it an mike and i have never went together .... theres a church up the road that is very kid friendly they do a lot for the kids from what i hear .. and i plan to check that out this coming sunday i gotta call someone to figure out the service times since they arent posted no where ... and ya i doubt mike will go with me to that church oh well ... me n caden will go

its been somewhat of an interesting night

when caden got hungry tonight after waking up when we got back from getting mike at carpool ....

i had told mike on the way home how ive been trying more and how i gave him a cup ect ect

well he didnt help situations and in a very unsupportive voice said " oh ya thats right youre trying to breastfeed" and held the bottle up to caden and said " you want this dont you "

i just gave him a look ... and he said " whats wrong " i said "nothing" cuz gosh dangit he knows fully well

i didnt have no luck at walmart ... completely forgot look for the oats ... but in the supplement area they had cleared out a ton of the bottles of stuff and wouldnt ya know it both what i was looking for werent there and i asked the lady in pharmacy and she said they are redoing that area and rolled em to the back and it could be a few days before they bring them back out if they do that .... ahh so tomorrow ill try to see if the small dinky pharmacy in town has them

OT: is there any reason for me to hold onto or take evening primrose? i bought the bottle at end of pregnancy to help cervix ect and only took a few pills ... now i dont know what to do with it?

thanks ~Jody

I am so glad you made the phone call. Wednesday will be great for you!

maybe to get your dh to come around to bf more .... calculate how much formula costs. even if your on WIC you dont get nearly enough formula a month to last. that stuff is like $20 a can last I checked. and I think you go through a can or more a week - that adds up fast.

glad things are going better - hang in there it will work out soon :hug:

oh momma you have so many fears. THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE OBSTACLE in being a first time mom - FEAR.

You were afraid to call the LLL. I will admit I really didn't know the difference between LC's and LLL when I had my first. And calling a stranger is SCARY. You might be scared to go to the meeting. But once you get there, your fears will be calmed.

Every time you face a fear fight it back! When you feel nervous about going to the meeting, tell yourself - "these people are here to help me nurse - so go away fear". When you're worried that you don't have enough milk tell yourself "my body can do this if I just give it a chance".

I disagree that nursing the first baby is easy. It's far from easy because you don't have any past history of success. You don't have the self confidence that it can be done yet! And a crying unhappy baby can feel like the end of the world! All you want to do is satisfy him in that very minute. But think of allll the reasons why nursing him is best. And when you have the feeling that you need to give him a bottle of formula, remind yourself that it isn't in his best interest!

Nursing is such a challenge - especially for first time moms. But you CAN DO IT!

Acknowledge your fears and then tell yourself that it will be alright!

Best wishes honey! Give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out. Throw out the fear and guilt and build self confidence and remind yourself that nursing this baby is in his and your best interest so give it all you have

Jody, I have a nearly fully bottle of fenugreek I would be glad to send to you, if you PM me your address. I think I have some mother's milk tea, as well.

I hope you're nursing that little guy right now. :heart:

he just went down .... here is how today went

some crying yes ... lots of consoling ... a funny adventure with cup feeding i think we both were ammused ( caden and i lol )

and typical days usually had (7) 4oz bottles in it ... well today he only got TWO (3tops if i forgot a feeding with a bottle)

my boobs are hurting and warm feeling so somethings going on

and ill work on ignoring dh ... he isnt the one that takes care of him 24-7 anyways .. im the one that loses all the sleep ( happily i guess ) lol the one that cuddles and consoles ...

but what he did tonight while i again am trying to be serious about making this work hurt me ... and i think he waw over my shoulder earlier tonight and read that post where i said it to you guys what he did as then he went to bed early ( 9:30-10ish cant remember ) oh well

i think only 2 bottles 3 tops in 1 day for first attempt back in the right direction is good ... we knocked out 4-5bottles of formula

thank you everyone for offering to send me supplements or teas ... i so appreciate it and hope i can return a favor in your direction one day!

Jody, I have faith you can do this mama. You DH will come around soon. You are a wonderful mama reguardless of how your baby eats, and don't forget that. :heart:

Sounds Great!!!! I hope today goes as well for you. Keep up the good work! (when dh sees you are committed and make this work, i'll bet he quits his smart *** comments.) You can do it! and i'm so glad you are going to that meeting tomorrow.

There ya go! That's awesome! Give yourself a pat on the back. I have every confidence that you can do this momma! Have a nice time meeting new mommas

on this

"I disagree that nursing the first baby is easy. It's far from easy because you don't have any past history of success. You don't have the self confidence that it can be done yet! And a crying unhappy baby can feel like the end of the world! All you want to do is satisfy him in that very minute. But think of allll the reasons why nursing him is best. And when you have the feeling that you need to give him a bottle of formula, remind yourself that it isn't in his best interest!"

It was harder for me with #1 because as she said no past history of success, plus taking 6 days for the milk to come in. With #2 it only took 3 days and by #3, I had milk leaking before he was even born!

I also think for an AP mama having your baby fuss or cry AT ALL is so hard, but I learned that that is ok to a point as well. I mean with my first I popped a boob in her mouth every time she made a peep and I think she may have had other issues like being overstimulated, frustrated whatever...but I never let her express that. HE may be a little frustrated at first having to work a little harder but it is better for his maxiofacial (probably spelled that wrong) development and I know he will get the hang of it. Especially without so many bottles being offered.

Way to go mama.

(((HUGS))) Jody

Mike needs to get on board with the nursing.....my brother did that with his wife and it sure didn't help matters....just stressed her out. My hubby was very supportive and went out of his way to make sure that it worked---hek we'd go out on a date and he'd patiently sit ina parking lot whileI pumped so my milk supply would be ok (both mine went between breat and bottle of breastmilk with no problems).

I agree that nursing is not always as easy....I had a heck of a time initially with my first.....he did not take to it right away and it wa extemely stressful and lots of self-doubting occurred. I'm so glad you're getting help with LLL. I went to our local one for a while, but my old neighbor was a leader so I got all the help I needed without leaving home

One caution---make sure he is continuing to have wet diapers so you know he is getting enough mik and you're milk production levels aren't too low. (((HUGS))).

Email me anytime mama! I love Caden's picture

DAY TWO: although not complete .... we are doing good in my eyes .. only have had 2 bottles all day ... he nursed to sleep just a while ago so i thought id update and lyk how i reached out in many ways today

i tried to find some fenugreek locally to try and get it started right away ... well like i posted above walmart was out, then i went to another pharmacy and the lady behind the counter didnt even know what the heck i was talking about ( she was prego too so MAYBE i helped her in a way ? incase she is going to bf and has probs with milk supply? ) they didnt have any, so she told me where another place was that had more chances theyd have it... NOPE they didnt have it either or blessed thistle ... but they use to carry and if i wanted they would special order it and itd be here in 2wks ...ahhh ...i may have helped someone at that place as well who had a 8wk old and she didnt know what i was talking about .. .who knows if i did great, just passing on what ive learned from you guys

so i decided i needed to get this started to help increase chances ... and drove 40mins to the HFS that ive been to in the past ... of course theyd have it ... so i bought a bottle of fenugreek and a lb of rolled oats

i had to get diapers for caden and grabbed a pack at foodlion and have came to realize they were to small cuz they were leaving marks ( size 1 and i had gotten fl brand before but i grabbed a different style ug ) SO i knew the pregnancy center was open only on tues 6-9pm ... i packed up all those diapers and went hoping to replace with ones that would fit him ... and walked out with a whole lot more then just diapers

i held back tears while i was there, i was prayed for, caden was prayed for mike was prayed for in hopes hed come around ....

i was able to talk to the lady there and express my desire to bf and she told me her story from when she was a single mom ect and had no support and was just like me ... i leared this area use to have a LLL branch but it disappeared .. this place has a christian type backing ... though not pushy ..but i expressed my desire to also learn about god and jesus and have that be part of my life

i had told mike on the way home tonight that i was going to attend church on sunday and he laughed and joked about a crying baby ect ect ... i said they are use to it ... im going to go with him i dont care ...

i was invited to this ladys church and i told her i will see her on sunday morning at 10am and she said she will meet me at the door ... im looking forward to it ... i told her that im at the level of a young child and never had the talk of god or bible stuff in the house as i grew up ... and although i attended church very briefly as a young teen i didnt understand it cuz i was placed in the classes with those of my age ( who of course were brought up on this and had attended church all their lives )

she gave me a bible and marked 2 sections in it for me to "start" with and also a monthly daily focus type hand out that gives you a passage to look up and tells bit about it and a lil way to pray or something ( need to look at the stuff again )

also welcomed me to join some of the classes they have going on and im going to go ahead and sign up for a few of them ...

as she prayed for us before we left i could have cried but held it back though i think she saw my watery eyes ...

she says she feels i was sent there for a reason other then diapers and maybe shes right .. things happened for a reason

i am looking forward to tomorrow, im looking forward to sunday and im looking forward to many new things as i have reached out and she will be my familiar face on sunday so i am not as nervous about standing out as a new comer to everything

at our wic appt to pick up checks i talked with a nurse about bf'n an my probs but not much help but a nice ear to talk to cuz i did explain i called LLL and am going to the meeting tomorrow so that is kinda why she didnt know what to really say cuz shes not a LC but i did get a manual bp to help take the edge off as things are starting to build up .. my boobs have hurt all day lol

i was suprised i got another 3months on wic for us ( mike n i 'milk,cheese, ect ) i was told if i am still bf'n in may that i will get reevaluated and could possibly get wic longer ..so i made my appt for may 2nd cuz i plan on bfn still .. when i get this supply up he will stay on as long as he wishes until he weans thats where im going with it ..

i asked mike tonight to PLEASE support me ... even if this is my 3rd attempt at trying to make things work .. i know deep down i didnt try hard enuff the other times ... and to PLEASE just support my effort this time ... and he said he would

i just feel touched today in many ways

i cant wait to let the lady know id like to participate in many of the classes they are offering and also donate some things here that we are no longer needing ( like the baby bath tub ... cadens been coming into the shower with me after i get done washing my hair and being slung in the water sling even if hes not in it right hes in it and loves water no matter how you put him in it lol )

ah ill stop this is becoming a novel just for todays ventures and today isnt even over

but yes im happy to say we have only had 2 bottles today and each was less then 4oz that he ate ...

we will keep working at it and tomorrow it will be our priority as well

i am sorry it took me this long to step my foot forward into the light many of you were shining .. im shedding tears cuz it took me so long to reach out and shed my fear of what others would think

what is helping the most is strangers just stopping me and saying " he looks wonderful you are doing a fabulous job " " you are a wonderful mother " " you are only giving him the best you know how, and are doing a great job " these words help me get by when im feeling low

and many of you have said such things and i thank you

and now for a tiny lil plee ... will you please look at my fsot post? with my priority at getting some fenugreek in my hands i didnt expect to have to drive 40mins to the hfs to buy it i ended up using most of the gas that i needed to get to the LLL meeting tomorrow and back home ... if you see something plmk as it will help me pay for gas to get to the meeting

THANK YOU for everything you all have done for me... im happy i didnt part with my "mother sucker" teeshirt i had gotten caden before he was born ... soon he will proudly be able to wear it